What you get is what you want from any movie: a journey. There's even suspense when they almost hit a rock (not a euphemism, a literal rock). They unironically call each other 'lover' and show the appropriate level of bashfulness. They make the most of their locations-in front of a mansion, driving in a car, on a yacht, swimming in a lake-as well as the now-nostalgic analog video camera, including an artful zoom into the MAYHEM tattoo on Tommy's stomach. Pam and Tommy were clearly in love during their honeymoon. You actually feel badly that the marriage didn't work out. There's little you can say about this video that hasn't already been said. This is the ur-celebrity sex tape, what you might call the Citizen Kane of famous people screwing, which ushered in the form's modern era. At one point Salomon, chewing gum and staring at a monitor displaying his own cock, comments, 'It looks like we're having a good time.' No, it doesn't, Rick. (Tip: Handheld is almost always better than stationary photography, especially webcams, which feel distant and clinical.) And the video makes a compelling case for never using the night vision setting to film your own sex, thereby giving it the dreaded Blair Witch/Zero Dark Thirty effect. There's no fun in watching them debate where to station the camera on a table. Hilton, meanwhile, is so bored out of her mind that at one point she stops to answer her phone.

It's introduced by sleaze Rick Salomon himself, who thinks more highly of his skills than he should (his creepy catchphrase: She likes it.). The most famous, One Night in Paris, is a textbook example of everything you shouldn't do with your home porno. There are about as many Paris Hilton sex tapes as entries in the Hunger Games franchise. Note: Esquire does not endorse theft or unpermitted distribution of copyrighted material, but these have all been widely circulated, commented upon, and in some cases publicly approved and/or mocked by the participants. As in Kardashian's case, a sex tape can skyrocket someone to fame (or at least infamy) on the other hand, a sex tape can ultimately bring ruin to an independent media company (*cough*Hulk Hogan*cough*).Ĭonsidering this is pornographic genre of great cultural interest, I've ranked 11 pivotal celebrity sex tapes here from best to worst-as measured purely by their cinematic qualities. They leave you wondering: Are they being themselves? Are they acting? Are they acting well ? Why did they choose the kitchen? When you're filming your sexual activities, self-presentation is paramount.Īfter watching a few of these, you can easily spot the frauds, whose construction is manipulated down to the last frame (see: Kim Kardashian, who now has the best-selling sex tape of all time). Rarely are they titillating-but more interesting is how much they do or don't offer a glimpse into the private lives of those involved. I've watched a lot of celebrity sex tapes.

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